Detroit is a 3 hour flight from my homebase.

Unless it’s frigidly cold, snowing with an icy wind, and also happens to be Super Bowl Sunday.

In that case, it’s a 5 hour flight, followed by a 30-second sprint through 2 airport terminals for the last seats on the plane they are holding just for you.

Pro tip: Looking to practice a bit of humility? Board a plane that’s been waiting an extra 20 minutes on the tarmac without internet service while the last quarter of the Super Bowl begins.

Until this trip, my only experience with the city of Detroit was Eminem, and Kiss’s Detroit Rock City lyric: “You gotta lose your mind in Detroit —Rock City“.

I thought it was Motown, not Rock City, but whatever.

Let’s go lose our minds for 36 hours in Detroit.

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1. The Ford Rouge Factory Tour

Did you know you can tour the Ford Motor Factory and see the production floor of the F150, in full operation?

The most popular truck in America, and the birthplace of the assembly line was a must see for me. An assembly line in action! I can take pictures for my lessons on industrialization! (Once a teacher…)

I get a little over-excited when I get to visit places that I also teach my students about. Besides, tour guides love to be interrupted by pedantic middle-school teachers who think they know the history better, don’t they?

You can’t take photos at the start of the tour, which is two separate theater experiences, but then you elevate 8 stories to visit one of the largest living roofs on Earth, where you can.

If only a living roof of sedum in February were photogenic enough to be worth the effort.

Still, though, the assembly line tour is next!

I love plants, but the plant I was really looking forward to seeing was the working production plant—where you also can’t take photos.

It was the reason we booked the trip to the factory.

Three guesses what part of the tour “wasn’t operating today”? I’ll spare you the necessity of guessing. The production plant was not in operation today.

Because COVID. RUINS. EVERYTHING.

Cool cars are cool cars, though, am I right?

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2. Jazz at Cliff Bell’s

Full disclosure. I don’t know my John Coltrane from my Miles Davis.

But—

I do know about the beginning of the jazz movement and can speak somewhat intelligently about the influence of the musical style—but only because I teach the 1920s to 8th graders.

Cliff Bell’s is a restored art deco jazz club in Downtown that has excellent cocktails, creative food, and outstanding live jazz. I mean, live jazz that is so outstanding, it’s worth-staying-up-until-midnight-even-though-you-have-been-up-since-3:00am-and-know-nothing-about-jazz.

Seriously good.

We saw the James Carter Trio —which was actually 5 guys at one point—and let’s just say I never knew you could make sounds like that with a saxophone.

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3. Belle Isle

Quote of the day about Belle Isle: “I bet this place is gorgeous in the summer”.

But the thing is, it’s not summer.

It’s 14 degrees and the snow is blowing sideways.

Belle Isle was still awesome. It’s home to the Anna Scripps Whitcomb Conservatory and the botanical gardens, which “I bet are gorgeous in the summer.”

And because I love superlatives, you also need to know it is the oldest, continually operating conservatory in the United States.

You can also visit the Nancy Brown Peace Carillon tower, erected in 1939, because of the efforts of a Detroit News columnist, to commemorate her Sunrise Services and to promote peace.

I fully admit I had to look up the word carillon—

it means “bells in a tower, played using a keyboard”.

Appropriately named, then.

1 point for dictionaries.

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4. The Heidelberg Project

An outdoor art project in an eastside neighborhood, with a mission to “improve the lives of people and neighborhoods through art.” Since 1986, artist Tyree Guyton has used found objects, trees, houses, and everything in-between to create an “art experience”.

I’ll just say that I’m obviously not paid to evaluate or appreciate art.

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5. The Detroit Institute of Art

We made advanced reservations to visit the collections of the Detroit Institue of Art. They have more than 100 galleries, with everything from art from the ancients to concept-car drawings.

They also have the Van Gogh self-portrait, and that was the reason we wanted to explore this museum.

As special trip especially to see the self-portrait.

The Diego Rivera mural was incredible. The European sculpture and decorative arts exhibits were inspiring.

But really, we gotta see the Van Gogh self-portrait.

Basically, we only bought tickets to see the self-portrait.

What floor is the Van Gogh self-portrait on?

And the prize for worst timing ever goes to…….the people who want to see the Van Gogh self-portrait.

We were able see some other Van Goghs, Picassos, Renoirs, and other masters.

And they have a pretty excellent exhibit on the art of car design which includes some awesome real-life concept cars. I always wanted to drive the Jetson’s car.

But.

Van Gogh’s self-portrait.

Damn.

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6. Hart Plaza/Spirit Plaza

If you like bronze in large quantities, this is the plaza for you.

Here, you can see The Spirit of Detroit statue (bronze), and Joe Louis’s fist (also bronze), which was a gift to the city from Sports Illustrated in 1985.

Also available in bronze, The Gateway to Freedom International Memorial, a monument featuring escaping slaves and an Underground Railroad Conductor pointing toward Canada.

If steel is more your thing, you can gaze in wonder at the Transcending sculpture (a landmark for the labor movement) that forms two giant arcs reaching towards one another (but not quite meeting at the top). How’s that for worker/management symbolism?

From the plaza, you can also gaze across the river at Canada.

We took bets on how far you would make it if you had to swim in the below-freezing temps.

Let’s just say I don’t think you’d need your passport.

Ever again.

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7. Compare the Coneys

On the triangular corner of Lafayette and Michigan Avenue is the birthplace of the Coney Island — a culinary masterpiece in the form of a hot dog smothered in chili, yellow mustard, and onions.

There are two Coney restaurants side by side on the corner, American Coney Island, and Lafayette Coney Island, so naturally, we had to compare. I don’t really need an excuse to eat two hotdogs, but in the interest of unbiased research, I figured I’d give it a shot.

American Coney Island was our first stop. American has been in business since 1917 and is spangled in red, white, and blue. Their coneys have a natural casing, mild chili, and the restaurant had very friendly service.

One word: smitten.

With the hotdog, and the restaurant.

Bring me all the Coneys.

Next door to American is Lafayette Coney Island, which opened in 1924, and is decidedly grittier. Literally and figuratively.

Spicier chili, original countertops, and Eminem obviously prefers it there, so there’s that.

Of course, in the Coney island debate, I liked American, and Jeff liked Lafayette.

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8. The Guardian Art Deco Building

Art Deco.

Jaw-dropping art deco.

The Guardian Building began construction in the 1920s as a Union Trust Company banking buidling. It’s now a National Historic Landmark.

It was once called the “Cathedral of Finance”, and it maintains that association with an obnoxiously placed Bank of America sign.

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9. Breweries

We could only get to 6 breweries in 36 hours.

Let’s go!

East Market Brewing Company they have an elephant painted on the wall and beer that takes like chocolate milk. Just go.

Brewery Faisan Belgian Whit and Esto’s Garage serving pop-up tomato soup and grilled cheese quesadillas in a brewery named for phesants. My #2 favorite.

Batch Brewing had a recycled football field as it’s outdoor turf, and was so busy we had to come back later in the evening, so obviously, quality.

Supernatural Brewing is not in Detroit, but in Livonia, and designed for geeks like us. They defintely have the most creative brews, including Casper the Friendly Kolsch, and Dooms Day pastry stout.

Laugerhaus No. 5 The brews were not that memorable, but we chatted with the bartenders about the intracacies of Olympic curling, and that was memroable.

AtWater Brewing there was a busload with a 40-year-old birthday party, several feather boas, and an excess of wooing. Probably good beer, without feathers in it.

Bobcat Bonnie’s Not a brewery. But, three words: 1. Breakfast 2. Cereal 3. Shooters.

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36 hours in the Motor City is not enough to do the city justice.

But it is enough time to literally lose your mind if the earworm “Detroit Rock City” is playing over, (and over, and over again) in your head.

“Get up
Everybody’s gonna move their feet
Get down
Everybody’s gonna leave their seat
You gotta lose your mind in Detroit Rock City” -Kiss

Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to get it out of your head—

—as you race for your flight.

Happy trails!